I’m Going to Go Enjoy a Nice Constitution Muffin.

Super conservative shock-jock Michael Savage has been banned from Britain.

Remember when France refused to help us bomb the shit out of Iraq and the nutso sort of Republicans who get hard-ons listening to Toby Keith started insisting we call french toast “freedom toast” and french fries “freedom fries”? (Leading to one of Ensor’s favorite jokes, which relies on something called a “freedom tickler”.)

I can see it now. All of the dittoheads who listen to Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity and Michael Savage and Bill O’Reilly are going to start referring to english muffins as “Constitution muffins,” and when you make the cue ball spin while playing pool, you’ll be able to say that you put a little of “Mom’s Apple Pie” on the ball, and when you polish your buffet table now, you’ll use a bottle of “Old Colony” instead of Old English. Irish Cream will now be referred to as “Everything But Northern Irish Cream”, and Scottish Terriers will be stripped of their little tartan doggie sweaters and redressed in stars and stripes.

Don’t even get me started on what we’re going to have to do in our schools, but it’s safe to say that English class is for lousy queen-smooching bastards.

As for English Bulldogs, well they can dog-paddle their limey asses back to Britain!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go proofread this entry using the Oxford American Dictionary.