In an effort to prove to myself that I don’t have to write 1,000-word rants every time I see a movie, I thought I’d review a few films in my favorite style of poetry: haiku.
Enjoy, and thank you, won’t you?
.::.
Avatar
Lame on DVD.
Just a bunch of feral Smurfs
on a spirit quest.
Twilight
Average girl meets
cool guy who broods and sparkles.
Somehow they’re boring.
New Moon
Average girl meets
shirtless biker werewolf. Is
this a Corman flim?
Eclipse
Hello, I’m Bella.
I have low self-esteem. Have
you met my boyfriends?
Watchmen
Rebel heroes make
important social state– Oh…
Hey… Wow. Blue penis.
Watchmen, Part 2
It was a mistake
to see it in IMAX. The
penis. It taunts me.
Inception
One thing is certain:
The ride at Universal
will make me throw up.
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Ahahahah! You keeeeeels me and I lurves you for it!
~jo
AHAHAHA! love. ooh! ooh! guess what this one’s for:
Pee in the gas tank.
Some kids go to a lake, die
ha cha cha, cha cha!
heh.
Oh, I don’t think that’s a fair summary of Schindler’s List, Mo. *grin*
Darn. I’m not so good at this game. :P
Even cheating jerks
can save the lives of others:
Flaw in Adolf’s plan.
or
When seeking aid for
one’s aged Jewish parents,
try wearing makeup.
HA!
Too funny!
LOL. All I can do is LOL. Really LOL’ing, not just showing amusement by typing “LOL”.
You comment actually made me LOL too.
Hahahaha. Those were awesome!
That was hilarious, especially the Watchmen one… love it!
Two girls and one cup
Set out to have some fun now
scatalogical
Funny story (I think): When I moderate comments from my WordPress dashboard, it doesn’t recognize HTML, line breaks, etc. So your comment read like spam (one long line of text), and I nearly deleted it before I realized it most spammers A) include links and B) don’t format their spam in haiku.
I don’t think so good this early in the morning. *laughs*
Love the Watchmen haiku, almost makes me want to see it now. You made me laugh so hard I literally sprayed coffee all over my laptop, thanks for the morning laugh, brilliant!
OHNOES! POOR LAPTOP!
Thanks!
LOL these are all hysterical. Why is it that the funniest stuff is also the truest?!
I know this comment is in the wrong spot, sorry, it’s all related…I would NEVER watch Eat Pray Love so THANK YOU for saying so much better what many of us feel. I would rather watch a B-movie with fake monsters where you can see the zipper of the costume.
Hollywood sucks. All these movies are going to end up on that blog “stuff white people like” and it’s a bloody embarrassment.
Oh, you and I could be friends in an epic sort of way. *laughs* I’m a nut for b-movies too. When The Boyfriend and I combine households eventually, we have plans to watch our combined movie collections in alphabetical order (partly to give us a free project to work on while we grow accustomed to the expenses of owning a house) and between the two of us there are some awesomely bad movies. Glenn, for example, has more Godzilla movies than he’d normally care to admit to a woman he’d like to live with someday. (But I have a statue of Gamera vs. Barugon in my cubicle at work. I ain’t scared.)
I never pass by a bin of marked-down or used DVDs. We gave up cable almost two years ago—but Netflix—never. And if you’re going to stream, get used to B movies because that’s mostly what they have. But oh the gems I have found among the Bs!
Just read that Julia Roberts has become a Hindu. Of course she has.
I don’t have cable either. I watch a lot of DVDs and I had Netflix for a while. Gave it up to get ahead on my car payment, but I’ll get it back. I loved streaming movies on my computer. (When I get it back, I’ll probably stream it on my TV through a Wii or something.)
Hindu? Really? Is this going to be the new Kabbalah? Say it ain’t so…
PS—also can’t stand “turkey baster” movies, wedding movies, or break up movies! I hate that men think all women want to see “chick flicks.” The only pregnancy movies I want to see are the ones where the child is evil!
*cracks up* There are a couple of “chick flicks” I like, but they’re movies most guys I know like too. Namely When Harry Met Sally and The Princess Bride (I guess they’re Rob Reiner movies more than chick flicks). I’m not liking the “I need to have a baby to make my life complete because I’m empty and miserable” trend lately. I don’t mind seeing movies where people have kids for the numerous other reasons people have children, but I’m noticing more and more movies where women have babies the way some people buy new shoes. “I’m depressed. Oh, this will make me feel better!”