Non Skweeter

…NON SKWEETER:
Non Skweeter is the personal blog of freelance writer and professional temp, Amanda Mitchell. She maintains another online journal, which is updated on a more regular basis, though usually with crap no one else would like to read. Non Skweeter contains the “best” (or, “wordiest.”) entries from Amanda’s other online journal.

…THE AUTHOR:
Kidnapped by gypsies at an early age and then subsequently abandoned by gypsies, Amanda spent the early part of her childhood dodging fame, fortune and the occasional bus in Los Angeles, California. On the eve of her fifth birthday, Amanda’s family decided that it might be nice to live in a place where Middle Class didn’t start at $85,000 a year and so moved to south Florida, one of the sunniest, squishiest, most tourist-intensive areas of the United States. Amanda’s family can be kind of dumb sometimes. She thrived, however, and by the age of nine had made a name for herself as Charlotte County’s foremost alligator wrestler/cockroach wrangler, a skill that won her many accolades from New York transplants and countless marriage proposals from the native southerners (rim shot).

Though she cultivated many other skills during her time on the Gulf Coast, Amanda’s real love became reading, especially when she realized that it led people to believe that she was a sweet, innocent, studious young thing, for even back then, she knew that her real calling was to take over the world, and human beings are almost ridiculously trusting of a twelve year-old with a tattered copy of To Kill A Mockingbird, the great feebs.

When she was just shy of thirteen, Amanda’s family relocated yet again, allowing her to take her knowledge of southern food and Douglas Adams with her to the Wisconsin Northwoods. After realizing that she didn’t have what it takes to impress the natives with her abilities to read tracks, she decided that she might have to expand upon her love of the written word by actually writing some words. This, more or less, brings things up to speed.

Amanda is currently a freelance writer who penned a weekly humor column for a regional Wisconsin newspaper until recently, when she relocated to the Piedmont Triad area of North Carolina. She enjoys Mystery Science Theater 3000, books by Christopher Moore, Adobe Photoshop and string. She welcomes and encourages all comments, questions, suggestions, donations and offers of blind, idol worship and asks that they be sent to nonskweeter@hotmail.com.

All material within these pages was created by Amanda Mitchell unless otherwise noted and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License, and woe betide your ass if you forget.